her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
