The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
