I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
