Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize