there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I currently don't understand fingers.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize