Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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