I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
