This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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