I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize