i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize