why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Randomize
