how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
