She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
