so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
