i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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