yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
