I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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