I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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