you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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