I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The air was thick with penises
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
