Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
