I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize