ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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