it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
