Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
