she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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