Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
