I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
