Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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