So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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