idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
