I have demons in me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
