The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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