Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
