Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
