Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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