don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
