garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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