what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
