It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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