Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
