Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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