you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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