addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
