i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
