That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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