She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
