She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm sobbing to NWA
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
