dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
