Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
