This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
