It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
