I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
