We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
