she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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