Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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