What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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