You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
