"it" just moved
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
