apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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