erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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