bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
