Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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