I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize