love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she woke up with a sticky ear
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
