Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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