Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
