We named our party play list daddy issues
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
